If you’ve been keeping up on the World Cup, you may recognize Paraguay model and soccer fan Larissa Riquelme, the girl who loved her team so much she jammed a cell phone between her boobs to cheer for them earlier in the week. What you may not know is that we scored a totally fake interview with her as an excuse to post more photos.
ICU: So Larissa, we understand you’re from Paraguay. Is that near Uruguay?
LR: Oh, that’s silly. No, Uruguay’s not even a real place. It’s like Atlantis or North Dakota, just a story to tell children.
ICU: Fascinating. So you exploded on the internet after those pics were taken at a World Cup game this week. Have you been a soccer fan for long? If so, can you explain why anyone likes soccer?
LR: Honestly, I don’t know. I mean, everyone I know loves soccer, but when we sit down and try to describe why, we usually get nosebleeds. In fact, in the city I was born in, it is forbidden to even speak of it.
ICU: That’s delightful. Tell us, Larissa, how has the sudden influx in fame affected your life.
LR: Well, I had done modelling before, so having my pictures out there is nothing new. But getting to be asked stupid questions by internet comedy writers has been a real treat. Where I am from only goat herders and footballers are more respected and virile than internet comedy writers. I have an internet comedy shrine in my bathroom.
ICU: Yes, we get that a lot. Larissa, it has been a pleasure speaking with you today and we hope to see more of you soon.
LR: Well, as long as you can think of pretend things for me to say I’m more than happy to provide a loosely organized framework for an excuse to post my pictures on your site.
